I am so incredibly lucky to be loved by a sincerely wonderful group of friends. I have people I can turn to at any time of day or night, all over the country, who would be there for me in a second if I needed them. And they know for certain that I would always do the same for them. As today is February 13th, otherwise known as Galentine’s day, I thought that I would share some of my favorite and most memorable things that I have learned from my friends.
- Knowing who you are is hard to figure out, but an important journey to take
This concept stems from a particularly memorable conversation I had with a friend. She was explaining how she described herself to a boy she had recently gone on a date with and she very clearly knew her morals. She listed her top five personality traits, counting them off on her fingers, and perfectly outlined things that painted a picture of her, not only her behaviors, but what was important to her. The list she created was such a simple action, but it blew me away how confident she was in her answers. She knew exactly what she stood for, and what she wanted to present to the world around her. Then I started to look inward and create that list for myself. It wasn’t as easy as she made it seem, but I wanted that level of confidence for who I am. I wanted to be able to count off on my fingers what someone could (or what I wanted someone to) walk away after meeting me with. That level of self awareness was inspiring and something I have tried to incorporate into my life because being confident about who you are makes you feel strong.
- You are a boss, don’t you forget that
Self doubt is something that I struggle with on a daily basis. It’s super common and working on my confidence is a constant exercise. Possibly the best thing that my friends have been able to give to me is a level of confidence that can be hard to find. Whenever I am feeling down or discouraged, all it takes is a chat with one of my close friends and I feel like I could conquer the world. No matter the subject or the issue that I am facing, my friends can build me up with their words in ways that no one else can. They have the power to make me feel like a million bucks, and they are willing to make me feel that way whenever I need the extra boost. They understand that strength and they use it to help build me up and help me grow.
- People listen to you when you speak
In the same respect that my friends build me up, I have the same power to build them up. I remember a specific moment in college, I was sitting in the library and one of my friends did something truly kind. At this point I don’t remember what she did, but I remember how I reacted. I look at her and in the most sincere tone said, “If there were more people like you, the world would be a better place.” And the best part was her reaction, because she knew I meant it. Years later we met up for dinner and I mentioned remembering that moment, and she said she remembered it too, and she told me how it made her feel, and how she needed something like that said to her that day. Words are extremely powerful. Understand that the things that make you feel confident and strong can also be used to lift up the people you care the most about.
- It’s important to make time for those who matter
If people matter to you, you will figure out how to make time for them and they will make time for you. If it’s late night discussions or video calls, cross country trips, or hand-written letters. If some values you and your friendship, the effort will be mutual and valued. If the only time you can chat is at 11pm, you’ll pick up the phone at 11 pm for that video call and you’ll chat until you’ve had your fill. Clearing out a schedule for mani/pedis after a hard week, or just making sure they are available for you shows you how much they care. When your friend cares about you, they will make sure you know it and they will make time for you.
- You are never alone
No matter what the situation is, you don’t have to go through it alone. The good, the bad, and the ugly. There is someone out there who will get you through the hardest parts of your life because they value you, and know that you would do the same for them. Don’t be afraid to call on those friends when you need them, and be sure to answer the call when it’s your turn to do the helping.
My friends have taught me a million things, and if I attempted to list them all I would be writing a novel instead of a blog post. Find your nearest friend, give them the biggest bear hug you can muster, and remind them how much they are loved, and don’t forget that you are loved that much too.